If we act, it is no dream

Going over last year's expenses... appalled at what I've spent on art supplies. More than $800 since August--almost $700 of that in the last three months. A good example of cumulative consequences create a new reality. When I started putting together street stuff, it was pure play with no pretensions to 'art,' no anticipation of where it would take me. If I'd destroyed each piece as I made it, would have gone on like that. But the very physical reality--the accumulation of more and more objects, changed my relationship to what I was I doing, and no amount of resistance would have stopped that.
      Where to put them? Many have fragile surfaces. I can't stack them like paintings or drawings. I've already run out of wall space with light. Have no place to put the free standing sculptural work. That I'm able to look back and see patterns and development, that too affects what I do, and how I think about my work. It generates desire... to do more, to avoid repetition--pushes me to explore and experiment conscious of what I've already done. Again--the accumulation of objects and expenses forces me to think about compensation (a difficult subject for me). I've been told there are people who might want to buy them... something absolutely unthinkable when I started doing this in August. But this means putting them on display... photographs, a portfolio, possibly looking for a gallery that would give them a showing. Way more complicated than sending out poems and MSS to publishers (maybe not more than turning them into books, but I've not been faced with that problem yet. The fact of DOING creates obligations... to the work, to my need to think through what it is I want from this. It's not a dream... it would be easier if it were... where nothing actually happens, nothing is required.